


Once We Were

by HeraldofMythal (LadyYev)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dalish Elven Culture and Customs, Dalish Elves, Dalish Issues, Elf/Human Relationship(s), Lonely Inquisitor, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Seperation, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:18:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8888794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyYev/pseuds/HeraldofMythal
Summary: "A while longer" has passed and it is time for Dorian to return to Tevinter. The Inquisitor, Michel Lavellan, deals with his true love living a world away and balancing his personal life with the Inquisition. The road isn't always smooth, but it is worth finding a way back to the one you love.





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Usually I write fic for others, and it's their ships and their ideas. This is the first I have written entirely for myself. This is my OTP, this is the story of my Inquisitor and the man he loves. I hope you grow to love them as much as I do.

**Chapter One**

_**Goodbye**   
_

 

Soft light filtered through Michel’s eyelashes as they opened for the first time of the day. Snow packed around the closed windows obscured view of the barely risen sun. Dread weighed deeply in his stomach. All the anxiety and sorrow from the night before came flooding back. Today was the day.

He turned his head to see Dorian’s muscled back facing him. His breath was still heavy with sleep, much to Michel’s relief. Michel was always the first to wake up, though Dorian would protest it. Unlike most mornings, Michel was not in a hurry to get out of bed. Diplomats, regents, any of the usual flood of strangers that wanted to meet with the Inquisitor would have to wait. He would remain here in this moment for as long as he could.

Quietly he moved closer to Dorian. The warmth of his skin comforted Michel and his chest tightened. He rested his head against Dorian’s shoulder and closed his eyes tightly. Silently he prayed to the Creators, Mythal, the Maker, even Andraste that Dorian would change his mind.

Dorian took a deep breath. He turned and cradled Michel under his arm.

“Amatus.” He whispered. A veil of sleep lingered over the words.

Michel hummed in response taking a deep breath himself. Dorian’s scent filled his nose, a mixture of spice and sweetness. It was Michel’s favorite scent in the entire world, and the idea that he may never smell it again clouded his mind.

“What time is it?” Dorian moaned, his eyes still did not open.

“Early.” Michel replied quietly.

“How early?”

“Early enough.” Michel responded.

“Good. I have much to do.”

“You have plenty of time.” Michel hummed, hoping to keep Dorian in bed for a little longer.

Dorian kissed the top of his head and stretched, getting ready to sit up. Michel tightened his hand on Dorian’s arm. “Not yet. Just a little longer.”

“Amatus.” He sighed, reestablishing his embrace. “I would stay with you forever if I could.”

“You can.” It wasn’t exactly a plea. More like a final effort to change his mind.

The last thing he wanted was Dorian to stay out of guilt or obligation. Dorian needed more. He didn’t want to be the Inquisitor’s boyfriend. He wanted to prove himself.

Dorian worked for everything he had, he didn’t like charity or handouts, and he certainly didn’t want to be known just for who he was sleeping with. Michel loved this about him. He wanted more, and Michel wanted to give it to him. It was a terrible inevitability that they must be separated.

“You know I need to do this.”

“Yes, I do.” Michel resigned.

Dorian turned his head and looked into his eyes, a sad small smile appeared on his lips. Michel tried to drink in his face one last time. Beautiful gray eyes reflected so much regret and love. A small voice in the back of his head begged him to try harder to get Dorian to stay, but he didn’t want to be that man.

“I suppose it is early enough. I can wait a little longer before getting up.”

He pulled Michel into his arms. His spicy sweet scent filled Michel’s nose once again. Michel rested his head against his love’s chest wishing he knew how to stop time and make this embrace last forever.

 

***

Too soon, the moment was over. Before Michel knew it, they were dressed and taking the stairs down to the hall for breakfast. Dorian was chattering excitedly about his plans for the trip. He had a few stops to make on the way and he wanted to be sure he had time to do it all before getting to Tevinter. He paused before taking hold of the door handle.

“This is it.” He muttered almost too quietly to hear. “I’m going home.”

Michel looked down at his feet, unsure of what to say.

“Once I open this door, it’s all real.” He turned towards Michel, gray eyes searching.

“You are the most amazing man I know.” Michel professed, “If anyone can change Tevinter, it’s you.”

Dorian smiled and turned his face down, his cheeks brightened a little. Michel’s heart fluttered.

“There you go again, breaking my heart. I-- care about you Michel. Very much.” His words skimmed around the three that Michel always hoped he would hear him say.

“I love you Dorian, with all my heart.”

Dorian reached for Michel and wrapped him in a kiss. His arms held him as though he would never let go, and Michel wished he never would. “We can do this Amatus.” He whispered as he pulled away.

Pain weighed heavily in Michel’s heart as Dorian turned and opened the door.

The next few hours were a blur. Everyone was eager to say goodbye to Dorian. Sera prepared him some sort of sorry looking cookies that she wanted him to taste right away. Varric interrupted Dorian’s protests with an anecdote about how much the new Arishok in Kirkwall loved cookies. Iron Bull laughed in already drunken splendor, interjecting with Qunari phrases that no one really understood.

A small tap on his shoulder pulled Michel’s attention away.

“Inquisitor.” A meek looking woman stood behind him. Her head was bent low.

“What is it?”

“Sister Nightingale wishes to meet with you in the war room immediately.”

Just then the honor guard Cullen sent came for Dorian.

“We are ready to leave when you are, Ser Pavus.” the one at the front said, nodding his head in a polite bow.

Dorian cast a sideways glance to Michel.

“Tell Leliana that I will come as soon as I have seen Dorian off.”

“She said it was urgent.” The woman pleaded.

Dorian cast his eyes away as he stood to go with the soldiers.

“It can wait.” Michel insisted and stood beside Dorian. “I will come as soon as I can.”

The meek woman nodded, looking down at her feet. She fled as if worried Michel might harm her if she wasn’t quick enough.

Michel followed Dorian outside. Each footstep was clouded with increasing dread.

“I can’t believe I’m going home, back to Minrathas, the Magisterium, my mother.” The last one he spit out almost like poison.

“Back to being the most handsome Altus in all of Tevinter.” Michel teased.

“Of course, but that’s the easy part. The much harder part is everything else that comes after that.”

“You’re going to do great.”

Dorian smiled sheepishly for a moment. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I will miss you too.” Michel smiled. “I will write you as often as I can.”

“That will really get the servants talking. Who is this mysterious man who always writes? Why are his letters always so full of _colorful_ details?” Dorian laughed.

“Ser.” A voice interrupted from behind them. “The caravan is loaded.”

“Thank you Tomas.” Dorian waved.

“Thane.” the voice corrected.

“What?” Dorian replied.

“My name is Thane, ser.” The voice said with a note of confusion.

“Very good Tomas.” Dorian said with a hint of mischief in his eye.

“Ser.” Tomas nodded then turned back towards the horses.

“Look at you being rude to the help already, and you haven’t even left Skyhold yet! You’re going to fit right in back home.”

Dorian scoffed, “Oh, Tomas knows I tease. We go way back.”

“To when?”

“Just a few moments ago, weren’t you there?”

“Ah yes, I think I can recall. Very far back indeed.”

Dorian arched an eyebrow. “So, Inquisitor. Are you going to give me a kiss goodbye or what?”

“In front of all these people?” Michel teased. “What will they say?”

“Let’s give them something---”

Michel cut Dorian off. He grabbed his waist and dipped him as deeply as he could, kissing him hard and passionately on the mouth much longer than would be considered appropriate. Dorian smiled and returned the kiss even deeper.

“Inquisitor.” He said breathlessly, “You do know how to make an impression.”

“Goodbye Dorian.” Michel said. The words stung as they hung in the air.

His love smiled back at him. “We will be together again soon.”


	2. Unexpected News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana approaches Michel with some of the most unexpected news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. I was out of town and then getting back to work. I hope to post chapter 3 sooner :)

**Chapter 2**

**_Unexpected News_ **

 

Michel’s heart sank as he watched the shrinking image of Dorian ride away. Long after all the other well-wishers were sent off, Michel remained. His eyes were focused on the small dot he knew was his love in the horizon. It stopped for a moment, turning back before disappearing entirely.

 

Michel wrapped his arms around himself. Partially to brace himself against the perpetual cold of Skyhold, partially in comfort against the crushing feeling in his chest. _He will come back_ a small voice in his head kept echoing in comfort. Michel wasn’t sure he could believe him. Tears stung his eyes. This time he did not fight them off.

For a long while he stood by the gates. A solitary figure slouched in sorrow.

 

“Ser” A small voice eventually interrupted him.

 

Michel straightened up. His hands scrubbed away tears from his eyes and he took a deep breath. He hoped he didn’t look as pathetic as he felt.

 

Those hopes were dashed the moment he saw the round faced woman’s expression behind him. Immediately she downcast her eyes in pity. “Ser, I have come to summons you for The Spymaster”

 

Michel nodded and sniffed away the last of his tears. His eyes felt puffy. He was the Inquisitor, and it was time to work.

 

The halls of Skyhold grew emptier every day it seemed. Corypheus was half a year defeated. Many who came in floods to the Inquisition journeyed home. Most of his friends still remained, but the question was for how much longer. Blackwall left almost immediately to join the Grey Wardens. Josephine informed him with shielded smiles that he survived the joining, the meaning of that was a bit unclear to Michel. He never quite understood Wardens.

 

Michel followed the messenger through the halls to the War Room. Leliana stood over the table, fingering a letter almost anxiously. She was never anxious.

 

“Spymaster” Michel nodded on entry.

 

“For a few more days.” Leliana laughed nervously. She was due to leave any day. She put off the Chantry as long as she could, but it was time for her to take the stole of the divine in Orlais.

 

“I’m sorry for the delay, Dorian was leaving. I wanted to be there to see him off.”

“Of course.” She nodded. “I completely understand. I wouldn’t have summoned you so early had I remembered.”

 

Something was wrong. Leliana rarely forgot anything about the comings and goings of Skyhold.

 

Whatever she needed to tell him must be dire.

 

She took a deep breath before speaking. “I need to speak with you about your clan.”

She said almost quietly.

 

Michel’s heart beat rapidly. Months ago, almost a year he had gotten word they were killed. They were being harassed by the duke of Wycome. He was riddled with red Lyrium and attacked clan Lavellan. The Inquistion was able to save the elves, only temporarily though. While Josephine’s diplomats tried to reason with the humans, other free march leaders brought their armies to Wycome to kill every elf without discrimination. Josephine blamed herself, and for months she would not even look at him in the eye. The fault though, ultimately lied with him, it was his choice.

Had he sent forces, things may have been different. Maybe the Marchers would have backed off. But he didn’t want the Inquisition to act aggressively and cause even more problems in an already troubled area. His mistake cost the lives of hundreds of elves. For days he couldn’t stop himself from going over their faces in his head. Men, women, children, all whom he knew, and all dead because he feared to look too aggressive. His own mother and sister were among them.

 

He remembered Dorian cradling his head as he sobbed for those lost. He assured him that it was not his fault and that there was no way they could have known how bad things would get. Michel still blamed himself though. He should have known that things were never easy between humans and elves. To a human elf lives were expendable. They weren’t people, and their lives meant nothing.

 

Leliana twisted a lock of hair nervously. “Jester contacted me recently. A few elves have come across his contacts seeking shelter. They used the clan name _Lavellan.”_

 

Michel’s breath caught. Could it be? After all these months, could some of his family, his friends, survived? He tried to keep the look of utter shock and satisfaction at bay.

“Who?” He asked, trying not to sound as desperate for answers as he was.

 

Leliana appeared uncomfortable. Her arms tightened around her middle. “I don’t want to give you any false hope. There were only a few Jester listed, and if they aren’t the people you want them to be...” She paused for a moment, looking as though she were trying to craft the next words just right. She sighed, “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Leliana. Only minutes ago, I believed everyone in my family to be dead. Everyone I knew, everyone I loved. Even one survivor is more than I could have asked for. Please, tell me the names.”

She stood for a moment considering what he said. Michel could almost see the weights in her head, measuring options. After a moment she extended her hand with the wrinkled note enclosed. She must have had it for days for it to be in this shape.

Michel skimmed over the first part, most of which was so heavily entrenched in code he wouldn’t have understood the true meaning if he tried. Towards the bottom, three tiny words were scribbled in clumsy lettering.

 

Aedanthir,Ghilanna, and the last name that made his heart freeze, _Linna._

 

 _“Asa’var’lin”_ He whispered, the word escaped his lips. Instantly tears budded in his eyes and hope blossomed in his chest. There was no hiding the smile that came to his lips.

Leliana looked at him, puzzled. He tried to avoid speaking Elvhen around humans. Somehow it seemed to make them uncomfortable. He couldn't deny his joy however. She was alive. The little girl he watched grow into a confident young hunter. The light of his grandmother's eye, _Linna._

 

"Someone you know I assume?" Leliana asked.

 

"My cousin." Michel responded. "Her mother..." He stopped his thoughts were moving far too quickly, "I mean, my mother... we were very close."

Leliana smiled at his stuttering. "I'm glad then." She paused for a moment. "I don't know if you caught the message in the rest of the letter, but they are being kept in the estate of our friend, Hawke in Kirkwall."

 

Michel hadn't heard much from Hawke since their journey into the fade. Varric said he was doing well, and joked about Fenris grounding him after his near death experience. "No more travelling" Varric winked, "at least for a while."

 

"I thought you would most likely want to personally escort them back to Skyhold."

Michel nodded. "I can have a party ready to go within the hour."

 

Leliana adjusted her cowl before continuing. Her voice was tense and uncomfortable. "As I said earlier, I will not be able to remain in Skyhold any longer. As you know, I have been grooming Lace Harding as my replacement. I am fully confident she will be able to operate my network just as deftly as I."

 

"So this is goodbye to you too?" Michel asked. He really did like Leliana. She was closed off to many, but she understood the burden of leadership. They spent many evenings around the campfire, she played the lute and told him stories of times long past.

 

“I’m afraid so.” She nodded quietly.

 

“I’m going to miss you Leliana.”

 

“I will miss you too.” She responded, “I want you to know that no matter where I am, I will always be your ally. You have my support, and the support of the Chantry.”

 

Michel smiled, “And no matter where I am, you always have a friend in the Inquisition.”

 

The two of them embraced. Both fighting off tears. There were definitely too many goodbyes being said in Skyhold these days.

 


End file.
